Archive for June, 2011


Of Marriages and Happy moments.

"Humans.. The most evolved form of living being.."

At least that’s what most people say and believe as said to them by the Priest and proven by scientists. But what if the evolution is out of control?  Now don’t think "Uh? Out of control?? Isn’t it good to evolve?" Well, I say that the humans are evolving without any limits and the bans and impositions, Rules and restrictions, Self control and art of living, everything goes to shame when ‘This’ happens..

And what I mean by ‘This’ is a marriage. Not just another marriage, not even Love marriage nor inter-caste marriage, Not even a Hi-Fi Girl from New York City marrying a Tribal African boy from Zambia, but something that is known to people as ‘Gay Marriages’

Well yes I know that this is not the Indian type, we are sticklers to tradition and are thus known as "laggers" literally but they call us "Developing nation". Here I am not degrading India, I am proud that we are not infected with such ideas of marriage. We may be laggers but we have not lost our humanity, We did not go mad in the name of evolution, We have Sanskar and have values that are taught to us through generations. Here I do not want to start Another-boring-lecture, rather I want to highlight how fortunate we are to have our old traditions saving us from that disgust. Again its totally personal issue whether you marry a boy or a girl.

You must have read an SMS that goes something like this..

Mothers in

1980 – Hamari caste ki ladki se hi shaadi karna

1990 – Hamari Religion Ki

2000 – Hamari desh Ki

2011 – Kamine!!! Ladki se hi shaadi karna!!!!

______________________________________________________________________________________

Well how does it sound? funny? Well we laugh and have every right and freedom to do so, You know why? because we are protected by our Sanskar.

Normally in our History, I can remember as far as I can is the first Inter-Caste marriage was between Jodhaa and Akbar, Inter-State ? It was between the Son of the king of England and the Daughter of the King of France. And here we are fighting telling that Love marriages are not ethical even if everything matches (Here everything includes Horoscope and Same religion and caste, and all the formalities fulfilled.) Yet they say that Love marriage is a total failure and arranged marriage is far better.

Let me list down the Pros and cons of both the types of marriages, or at least what I think of them.

First everyone’s favourite, Love marriage

Pros :

– Better understanding and co-ordination

– Better scope for Planning in finance and life

– Have trust on partner not to desert you if in case of any unfortunate events in life

– There will be hope and a reason to live

– Someone to be with you always even at death

– Most important is our choice of person and the other person prefers a person like me

Cons :

– Little misunderstanding will lead to breakups and 95% of them are not happy and do not have the happy life they dreamt of

– Parents and elders will object to it

– No support from elders in case of breakups

 

Now how about a partner selected by elders?

Pros :

– No objection and people around you will be happy

– Adjustment will not be a big problem

Sanskari and you will get support from parents in case of breakups

– Breakups are very less

Cons :

– You may not like the person

– You will live for someone but not with a reason

– You will not be satisfied (thoe the elders ask you a million times you still tell a lie)

– Partner may marry you for personal reasons and once they get what they want they apply divorce

 

Marriages that are inter-caste etc. are for business or political purposes in general.

But what if the humans are advancing? imagine a boy marrying another boy?? or due to female foeticide lets say Arjun and Ram marry Shiela ??

Well the possibilities and probabilities and combinations are being explored by scientists (or at least I hope so that they will find a solution even if we know a solution already)

 

Well I have my personal opinion, Why not club both the pros and eliminate the cons? (easy to say eh?)

Yes there is a solution, its called as ‘Love after Marriage’. Ok here we go..

Take your time and select the person you like from the choices you are given and start loving after marriage. Satisfies both, Love and agreement from parents and there is a reduction in breakup level coz you love each other, so nothing to bother about.

Lets go to the other phase..

Recently at Kylie Minogue concert (Australia) a man came up the stage and proposed another man in front of the whole crowd that was cheering for them and the man happily accepted it!! (Even animals will not do that im sure of it!!)

Well, If that was the case in India.. (Imagine yourself about the parents of the couple!!)

The parents would say “Abe kamine!!! kitni baar bola kia karna ki ladki se hi shaadi karna bolke?” (or something worse?) and when you see the comments under the video, Most comments read “Australian government must change its laws and make gay marriages legal” well the first time they were made legal was in New York.

Well in what way will you call it as an alternative in the near future? But I must say that at the current rate of female foeticide, it is an alternative that everyone must consider with open mind or they may leave this world peacefully. India is such a place where we are against girl child. Why? Due to rising costs of marriage and all.. Just coz of money they give away life? is money worth more than life? can you live by eating money? can you build house with money? one rain and everything will go wasted. So do not waste your life and time accept what comes in your path, and Love it, That is the best possible way to lead life happily.

Well India is such a country where you get pizza delivered faster than police or ambulance, a place where people pray to goddess Saraswati for education and Lakshmi for money and Durga for courage but never want a female child, a place where the Olympic shooter gets rich in just firing two shots and the real shooters who are in the army protecting us get meagre wages and a place where people want government jobs but hate to go to government offices, and the list goes on and on..

The world is evolving and we must evolve too but we must know our limits and must live like true humans thanks to our Sanskar that protects us from such cheap thoughts.

So accept life as it is and love it, You will find that you will feel short of nothing, and find happiness all around. Sometimes you wonder how people with greatest of worries are happier than we who have lower level of worries and are not happy, the very simple reason is that they find happiness in every little chance they get and we fail to do the very same. Imagine the happiness of the gays.. just like another couple but its just that there are two persons of same sex rather opposite and they are finding happiness in that, whereas we find sorrow even if a small moment opposes us and we miss many moments of happiness just because we worry about the sad moment so much that we devote the moments worth being happy to sorrow.

So lets show the world that we are the people who can make life better, happier and more beautiful.

A more civilized and ethical life full of freedom and ethical values.

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Interviews.. What I learnt..

Everyone here tries to get good marks for a good job, a dream life and a dream home. But how many of us take it seriously that getting good marks alone is not enough if you don’t have a set of soft skills? Ok, You got soft skills, but then what if you are not able to tackle the little exam called placement or Interview?

Well, its not as hard as you think, as you can see that the people who select you are humans too, they know that not everyone is perfect, oh and they are not as bad as you think (exceptional cases).

So, at times like this, just chill don’t panic, if not here, you will get elsewhere, remember that you will be placed somewhere but just the time is not right so wait patiently and hone your skills.

 

Let me come straight to the point,

First things first, When you are going to your interview what will you need?

Neat dress.. say formals that are pressed and clean then polished shoes, trimmed nails, brushed teeth so that you won’t smell bad, and a nice set of soft skills.

Do you think this is enough? Are you not forgetting something important?

Yes you are!! You forgot your resume..

Well you must be thinking that you sent your resume far before this interview right? yes but you were lucky to be called in. But remember a resume is your first impression about yourself to the company’s HR team.

Here is what I can tell you about resume..

Treat resume like you are writing a love letter (yes I know what you are thinking, but you have to..), write in such a way that the person reading it will want to meet you in person and know more about you. Don’t use flashy fonts, styles and Wordart making it tough for the person to read it, if he has way too many applications, he will just trash your application to the side and forgotten.

Here is what you can do..

First do a research on the company you are going to apply for and if possible know the HR team and do a little research on them too.

Know for what post you are applying for, and Put all your skills that you think is required for that particular post first then put your other skills in the latter part of the resume.

Be honest about what you know and try to avoid writing your weakness. Write your strengths and positives but when you are asked for your weakness just tell them that your weakness is/are your focus areas and give them some, not all, and make sure that you give out your weakness lesser than your strengths. If you give your weakness more than your strengths, your chances of being selected starts to reduce.

Remember to put date and update your resume at your every achievement.

Do not use flashy colours in your resume, use simple black and white. font size about 10 or 12 and make sure that you use both sides of the paper, and your resume must not cross 2 pages max 3. 2 pages = 1 paper = both sides. (shows your resourcefulness).

Do not use sms jargons like ya instead of yes or u instead of you etc. Write it in such a way like you are writing to your lover but remember this is a resume and no poems strictly like in real time letters, keep it clean and simple.

Include in the following order (or any order that you think is good enough)

– your name (little bolder than the rest of the resume but not too much)

– your contact details

– your objectives (try to make the company’s objectives as your objectives)

– your qualifications

– your skill sets

– other certifications

– references if any

– your other skills like hobbies etc. (don’t include stupid ones like watching t.v. or movies or eating and stuff..)

Some companies would like to go green, so take the files that are not made of plastics etc. that harm the environment.. Gives a better impression about you.

Put up a smile on your face and be cool, wear the dress that you are comfortable in (no not the jazzy or flashy ones that you wear to college or parties, just regular formals).

Wear light coloured clothes, And make yourself comfortable, reach the venue approximately 15 minutes early, don’t come way too early like an hour ago (shows that you got no work at all!!). Neither come late. No need to follow strict military time (I will be there at 8:59 sharp if the interview is at 9). Come some time early so that you get some time to get adjusted with the surroundings and are comfortable there.

So now here everything is set, oh and don’t forget to take couple of copies of your resume there, it will come handy.

So now that you are there, and you are going to face the interviewer, No need to worry, he is a human too.

There are various types of interviewers,

some are..

– HARI (yes, like the one from naukri.com AD) way rude and not good to you,

– Good guys

interviewers like HARI are way tough to crack, so no need to be like the guy applying there, but be as cool as he is and just give him your resume and tell him that he can go through it when ever he wishes to and tell to contact you when he wants to hire you.

the good guys can be impressed easily, Give them the best of yours, and they will consider you.

There are times when you are in a situation where you don’t know the answer, don’t hesitate, just tell him that you don’t know but tell him how will you go about solving it as well, shows your eagerness to solve it.

When under pressure take a deep breath and ask for permission to cool yourself down for couple O’ seconds, don’t take way too long time, max 5 to 10 seconds and be cool again and be ready with answer. He is just testing your performance when under stress so he is not bad.

Always try to be cool and keep up a smile when he asks you real time situations, say for example,

Your colleague is smoking and you want him to stop what will you tell him in such a way where you must not use the word ‘You’ since using that word will hurt him,

Don’t think much the answer is to use ‘I’

Put it this way, I am not well with so much smoke around me as it affects my health.

It wont hurt him rather it sends him the message that you are not comfortable with he smoking.

or just leave the place with a simple “I got some work now Ill see you later.”

Avoid biting lips or nails, or hands in your pocket or having crossed arms, they deliver bad signs about you to the interviewer.

NEVER ask for the job profile (if you have received the call letter or mail where the job description is already mentioned. Go through the mail couple of times and pick the important ones that you think will help you claim that job.)

you can ask him like this when in doubt “I would like to know more about the job profile as the one I got in mail is not clear” only when he gives you a chance to ask him something, always avoid asking this question.

Never ask for the sake of asking.

There a girl asked a good question “I am a fresher and beside me is sitting a 5 year experienced person how can i beat him?”

Well the key to that is you must be confident but not over confident, keep your cool, and try your best, if the interviewer is good, he will select you over him if you are more humble than he is, but being humble is not being servant or bootlicker, give respect and keep cool and mind your words, they must never harm anyone.

When asked political or religious questions, just dodge them.

When you enter the room always ask for permission and give him a hand shake (don’t crush or give a loose one, neither give just your fingers which ladies do, its irritating.) and shake hands only for two times then release. If you are gent ok, if you are a lady and are not comfortable giving your hand, give out the traditional Indian “Namastey”.

Do not sit unless told to,

When leaving give a smile and say “Thank you” and never “Thanks” or anything. Just ‘Thank You’ sir/madam.

That is all for now, If i remember anything else, I will update it, Don’t forget to give in points as well that I can include here, Will help people and gives me chance to learn as well..

All the best..